There is Nothing Like a Flame

Parody Lyrics to “Nothing Like a Dame” by Rogers & Hammerstein

We got moonlight on the land,
But it’s very hard to see,
We got cats with teeth like sabres
Which will jump you from a tree,
We got knives and spears and axes
But they’re stone so very lame!
What ain’t we got?
We ain’t got flame!

We get eaten in our homes,
By the wolf, and by the bear,
We have tried hiding in caves
But the snakes they eat us there,
We get carried off by eagles
They can track us by our smell!
What should we do?
We just can’t tell!

We have nothin’ to scare off the predator with
What we need is some thing we can settle the score with

There is nothin’ like a flame,
Nothin’ in the world,
There is nothin’ you can name
That is anythin’ like a flame!

We feel queasy, we feel ill,
We feel nauseous, and in brief,
We get ev’ry kind of sickness’,
From the raw and uncooked beef,
But we feel hungry as the wolf felt
When he ate Red Hiding-hood
What don’t we feel?
We don’t feel good!

Lots of things to eat are very tasty, but brother,
There is one particular thing that if not cooked properly
will kill you much faster than any other.


….Nothin’ else is built the same,
Nothin’ in the world
Warm and crackling and untamed
Yes the flickering of a flame!

There is absolutely nothin’ you can name like a flame.

So suppose you’re out at night
And far away from home,
And you don’t want to get eaten,
When scared and all alone,
It’s a waste of time to worry
About the cat and wolf and biar,
Just build yourself a great big fire,

There is nothin’ you can name
That is anythin’ like a flame!

You can read books by a flame,
And nothin’ cooks like a flame.
You make wise cracks round a flame,
And dry you slacks by a flame,
Nothin’ acts like a flame,
Or Moth attracts like a flame.
There ain’t a thing that’s wrong with any one here
That can’t be cured by putting him near
A burning, roaring, crackling, warming, flame!

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