by Daniel Kelly - 2025
G A D
Where have you gone Christmas Beetle,
G A
You don’t come around here anymore,
G D
When at night I have a gander, out on my veranda,
A D
It’s just lawn beetles on the window and the door.
D A
When I was a youngster only seven,
A D
I’d go outside at this time of the year,
G A
And soon clutched to my hand,
D G
In rainbow armour grand,
A D
Would be the beetle saying Christmas time is here.
Did we have a war with Argentina,
Was it Christmas Beetles that we had to pay,
Have they got our Scarab’s round,
And we have theirs tiny and brown,
I’d rather it was in the ground they’d stay.
It’s not that don’t like tiny beetles,
Or that browny orange isn’t very nice,
It’s just that to me,
Your not Christmas you see,
Bring the others back would be my advice.
Hark the nine wraith riders spring, searching for the missing ring
Middle Earth is where it hides, to the shire nine dark lords ride
Woeful all ye hobbits hide, prancing pony get inside
Aragorn then will proclaim, "don’t tell anyone your name"
Hark the nine wraith riders spring, "Searching for the one lost ring"
Bilbo found it in a cave, lost by Gollum filled with rage;
Then upon his last birthday, to Frodo gave it away
Ring of magic, vile and feared, with it on he disappeared
Better get it to mount doom, dark riders are coming soon,
Hark the nine wraith riders spring, "Searching for the one lost ring"
The Witch king can’t by men be slain, all who face him fear his name,
Meri’s dagger will strike true, and Eowyn’s blade will run him through,
A magic blade from Westerness, left out by Pete Jackson I guess,
Should have kept Tom Bombadil, maybe the next re-make will,
Eight wraith riders on the wing, "Searching for the one lost ring"
