A Filk by Daniel Kelly, to the tune of ‘Ol’ Maui’ – May 4 2021

It's a damn tough life full of sand and strife
We live on Tatooine.
And we don't give a damn when the day is done
If all the droids are clean.
'cause I’m Tosche bound from the moisture ground
With a speeder, fast and mean
And I’ll raise my stats, as I shoot wamp rats,
On the sands of Tatooine.

Speeding down to Mos Eisley, me boys
Speeding down to Mos Eisley,
With Obi-Wan, then to Alderan
Speeding down to Mos Eisley,

The droid R2, had a job to do,
A message to pass on,
With a well placed clout, the princess came out,
Pleading for help from Obi-Wan,
No-one by that name, lived out on the plain,
Twas a mystery that’s for sure,
The restraining bolt, was soon pulled out,
Hoping I could learn some more.

I met Old Ben, in his cavern then,
When the sand folk knocked me down,
He showed me a sword, that my dad had wored,
Until Vader cut him down,
If the death star plans, were in empire hands,
The rebellion would be through,
Owen and Beru, troopers killed them to,  
I knew what I had to do,

At Mos Eisley port, transport we sought,
for our trip to Alderan,
Little did we know, that Han Solo,
Was smuggler, on the run,
In a hail of fire, and stormtrooper ire,
We blasted into space,
On an epic quest, with many a test,
And monsters for to face,

In my twilight years, after many tears,
I hid on a planet then,
Like Yoda before, I shut my door,
After training Kylo Ren,
But Rey has come, and my jobs not done,
How much more can I do?  
So here’s to you, I’ll drink milk that’s blue
With the porgs on old Ahch-To.

A Parody on Taylor Swift’s ‘Our Song’

I was riding shotgun with my bolts undone in the front seat of his speeder
He’s got one-hand on his light sabre,
The other on my beeper
I look around, turn the scanner down
He says R2 is something wrong?
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don’t have a song

And he says...

Our song’s on the moon of Endor,
Staying up late, with the Ewoks dancin’
When you’re on the Falcon and you talk real low
Cause Leia’s your sister and Han doesn’t know
Our song is the laser blast
Stormtroppers, that didn’t hit you, when they should have
And when I get home ... to Tatooine again
I’ll be asking George if he can buy us again

I was lowered down the X-wing hatch after everything that day
Had gone all wrong Vader almost won,
Red Leader blown away
Got to repair bay, well on my way to my charging station,
I almost didn’t notice all the Jawas
Singing in anticipation.

I’ve seen every prequel, watched every spin off show
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as episode one.

I was riding shotgun with my bols undone
In the front seat of his speeder
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I... wrote down our song

Violent Night, Sorrowful Night,
Poor younglings, too small to fight
Anakin killed them one by one,
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run,
Murder on Coruscant x2

Violent Night, Terrible Night,
Jedi Temple, drained of light,
Padwans lie dead on the floor,
Yoda’s pupils, learning no more,
The Sith begin to rise x2

Violent Night, Tragic Night,
Dark Side, shows its might,
Palpatine’s schemes have taken their toll
Anger and fear fill Anakin’s soul
All the younglings are dead x2

Violent Night, Saddest Night,
It turns out, Yoda was right,
Much anger sensed he did,
Anakin’s training he did forbid,
Told you so did I x2